How to navigate the Friend Zone

I decided to post about the friend zone again this time discussing how to maintain a friendly relationship and also a few tips on how to get out of the friend zone. This is a topic i'v discussed with mates many times... As you can guess , this is a 2 part post .

How to keep the friend zone on track

  • Communicate: If you can see a friend starting to have feelings for you ,be a decent friend and voice how you feel , explain why crossing that line is not something you want to participate in... don't be a coward and avoid the poor person like the plague.

  • Don't get to flirty: common lets be honest here , you know they into you don't lead anyone on... leave the hey babe/baby talk for someone you actually into

  • Don't do date like hangouts : its easy to see blurry lines when you want to be friends but you want the benefit of him/her accompanying you to weddings movies etc... save that for the people you like.

Read more about my opinion on the friend zone due to my own experiences here

Now lets talk about how to get out of the friend zone

  • Communicate: tell the friend how you feel, nothing is worse than having to pretend those feeling don't exist another point I want to make is you never know if the feelings are mutual.

  • If you finally confessed how you feel and there's hope stop delaying and initiate a date read more 1st date advice here and for a good read on romance read here

  • Change the way you talk... words like babe , angel, handsome etc change the whole way someone views a text/email/phone call.

Sometimes you  only get one chance to take friendship to another level... so leap at the chance if it presents itself ,I've personally had bad experience jumping from friends to more , but I know people who have amazing relationships because they acted on their feelings. Maintaining the friend zone is easier in my opinion.

What is your take on the subject? has it worked for you? 


  1. Dear Ms. Silva

    Im in a complicated situation. I met this amazing girl last yr Feb we added each other on bbm and chatted briefly for a few weeks until we both ended up dating other ppl for the next 5months earlier that year. After we were both single again we started chatting more often and I've grown very fond of her since. In that time she's confused me a lot...

    What I mean by that is we had an instant attraction the first time we met and we just gel when ever we with each other. The thing is she isn't obvious and she's extremely mysterious but kind of predictable at the same time which is what I like about her. She invited me to a her male friend's braai who likes her and then on second thought she asked me not come because it would be awkward...fair enough.

    On a another occasion I asked her out and she agreed... on my way to pick her up she called and cancelled...I figured she clearly wasn't interested and so I stopped talking to her for the next 4months (deleted her and stopped calling). (douche thing of me to do I know) still feel bad about it.

    One night in November while out with friends we ran into each other randomly and just like the first time we met we hit it off, again... We started talking again and I asked her out a month later and this time she followed through... we went on another 3 dates and things were honestly going really well...

    She left Joburg for the next 3weeks around Xmas for the holidays to visit her family and through out that period we spoke often and we talked about what we were going to do once she got back...

    Now here is the thing the week she arrived back she started acting differently... we didn't talk much and I hadn't heard from her for half the week... When she did eventually make contact she told me Im a great guy but she's not ready for a relationship.

    Naturally I was gutted cause I think she's really unique, special, and a extremely rare type of woman but I accepted it... The thing is its been a few weeks since she said that...We started flirting a lil over text and phone again. I don't know what to think... Im so confused. So right now Im in the friend zone and I honestly don't mind because Im not one to rush into relationships and I take a while to trust ppl so Im enjoying this time to get to know her. My previous two relationships didn't go so well but at the same time I'd like to think we have a shot.

    Initially I thought maybe she met someone else but on the other hand I think its because she's afraid of being hurt and let down again by another relationship. She's a very strong willed, tough and a independent person...she's not the type of woman that wants a man just for the sake of having one and thats what I respect about her. Im the same when it comes to women.

    How do I help her open up to me, to trust me, to let her know I only have her best interest at heart and that I would never hurt her? Its important too note that since I met her she's always been quite reserved and cool never one to look or seek attention, she is strong and she doesn't let many ppl in... all I can say is Im crazy about her lol.

  2. Hi thanks for reaching out, my opinion is theres 2 ways to handle it

    #1 honest conversation goes a long way , I dated a guy who I just was weary of only because I've been through the so much drama with guys,one day he sat me down and explained how me never opening up to him made him feel,it worked, i tried to understand that me being to afraid to let him into my world also hurt him in the process.

    #2. You can chose to wait it out , perhaps the more she gets to know you she will feel safer opening up to you.

    I hope this advice helps :)


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