This post was inspired by one question one of my favorite youtube guru's and her boyfriend answered on relationships. Lets start this by saying women should preserve their pride when it comes to dating and life in general. Let me just say had this post been written before my 2 year hiatus from dating it would of been so different. I was bouncing from one long relationship to another with the constant feeling that I wasn't complete if I wasn't in a "healthy" relationship so I'd waste tons of times with guys who really I should have dumped a year before the actual breakup.
I have to say I am so grateful for those 2 years that I spent single, it sounds so long! I can honestly say somewhere in those 2 years I really started to take pride in myself, not that I was pre that time looking like someone who didn't care about her outer appearance. But, I always made excuses for people who treated me badly I lost the idea that I DESERVE THE BEST and that is the pride I am talking about. There is tons of things I will not tolerate anymore and the best part is I know that if a guy cant respect me I am perfectly fine on my own.
I love saying this I cant even remember where I heard it but it goes "A man has two options in a relationship either STAND UP and be the man she needs or SIT DOWN so she can see the man behind you"
As women we often feel its our job to be a "good women" and in our minds that means we have to take all the crap and follow it by making up excuses for why men do what they do. He cheats because.. he lies because.. he doesn't believe in romance because... list is endless. Truth is if a guy really see's worth in you and values you the only thing you will ever have to say on his behalf is "this man is so good to me because...". I'm not saying he would be the perfect person, no one is perfect but he will totally respect your relationship and value you so much that you will want to tell people about his awesomeness and be known as the most annoyingly perfect and loving couple by all your loved ones.
I think any guy wants a women who has some pride in herself. I've heard guys say when I cheated on her yeah she was upset and hurt but hey she also kept begging me to stay so I just kept cheating and we just kept dating. Any women with pride in herself will not want to share any guy/women. She will not tolerate anyone laying a hand on her, she will not tolerate unnecessary women drama like exes who feel they have a voice in your relationship and you and the bfs future.
With this good kind of pride comes so much more happiness because it will start moving into different parts of your life. You will care about your health. You will take pride in your relationship. You will take pride in your work and you will be filled with self love and happiness which in the end that will make you be a joy to be around. Now I am not talking about conceit which is: a high and often exaggerated opinion of oneself. I mean pride which is self respect and feeling proud of who you are. Know the difference.
Realize what you bring to the table and then take a moment to pat yourself on the back. Know that you deserve the absolute best in this life. Communicate with your partner about the things that you do and do not like. Realize that when you take pride in who you are and you have inner happiness you will stand for something and not just fall for anything.
Disclaimer: I am not a relationship or self love expert/guru/coach all the above is based on my personal experience and is just my opinion. I love sharing my little life lessons that I have learned the hard way with you guys like I would with any of my girlfriends or loved ones.
~image credit: Cupcakes and cashmere~
~image credit: Cupcakes and cashmere~