Tonglen Meditation


Today I have something super special to share with you about how I recently started using the Tonglen meditation method in my everyday life. Now I literally found out about this through the women entrepreneur conference I attended about a week or more ago and at first I thought oh sounds too easy, it cant possibly work. Firstly let me just say I am usually the most optimistic person in the room. I always try to see the positive in every situation.
However recently my mind frame had changed. Hello miss Debbie downer. Like one example is I got some super harsh critique about my blog from a loved one like "you are a terrible writer, no one will ever read your blog, readers wont come back" kind of harsh. Needless to say it brought me to tears and I eventually couldn't find the courage to blog. A few weeks went by before I decided I have to try something to get me out of my funk because each day from then on just felt like I was sinking more and more into a space where the only things that captured my focus were the negative things. Not that I am putting blame on the critic at all, my mind frame was negative. I chose to keep focusing on the negative. Which was my own fault, my own doing.

As many of you might know or experienced when you in a negative mind frame anything and everything can ruin even the most perfect of days, even the girl who is just sitting there innocently eating a cracker will annoy you and you will be like "look at this *%#@h eating that cracker like she owns every cracker in the world" haha. So with nothing to lose I decided to try the Tonglen method, now please forgive me if I get something incorrect or should I say not as perfect as those who have practiced this method for years but this is one example of how I used this meditation technique in my life:

  1. Feel the pain : I sat down and went back to the situation, hearing the harsh words, feeling the tears starting to build up. I felt every emotion like it had just happened.
  2. Think about others who might be in the same situation: I started to think about other bloggers out there who had gotten their fair share of harsh words. 
  3. Send out positive thoughts: I then sent out thoughts of appreciation, care and compassion their way, I thought about what I felt would cheer me up in those sad moments and sent those kind thoughts their way.
These 3 simple steps now allows me to deal with emotions instead of just sweeping them under the rug. Adding the Tonglen meditation to my everyday life helps me feel better because not only am I dealing with my own pain, but I am sending out positive energy to people who might be feeling the same kind of hurt. I have now done this with a few other negative situations these last few days and it has repeatedly proven it works. Maybe you have been feeling like you can only focus on the negative parts of your life or perhaps like you can't get over harsh words/situations/thoughts, I highly recommend you try this. You don't need a fancy meditation room or to sit in a meditation like "pose". All you need is to take a moment for yourself it can be in the bath or shower or while drinking your morning coffee. 


Have you ever tried the Tonglen meditation method? Will you give it a try?





~Image credit: World tour stories~

29 comments

  1. Really well written post this sounds really interesting!

    www.makeupmonster.ie

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    1. I'm so glad you think that, means tons.

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  2. Oh Meg, I am so sorry to hear that you have been down and out from a negative comment someone had made to you so here is a big hug from me to you! I would just like to say this to you...I think you are a wonderful blogger and your writing is brilliant!!!! Don't ever stop what you love because of one bad and nasty critique!!! We will always have to face negative comments from people because some people might just not like us etc, but remember we always give them the power if we take their words to heart!!! So stand up to what you believe and carry on doing what you love!!! I have never tried Tonglen meditation method...sounds interesting...going to go google it now ;) And I think I will you give it a try!!! Much love xxx

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    1. With every storm there's a lesson to be learned, so I guess without the critique I would never have tried this meditation, right?! thanks for the sweet words of encouragement.

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  3. I've not heard of this before but if it works for you then keep on doing it! I always enjoy visiting your lovely blog - just focus on all the positive feedback you get here and then you will certainly feel appreciated!

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  4. I've not heard of this before but if it works for you then keep on doing it! I always enjoy visiting your lovely blog - just focus on all the positive feedback you get here and then you will certainly feel appreciated!

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    1. Thank you so much, I appreciate the kind encouraging words.

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  5. I haven't heard of this before....I am such a champion at brushing my feelings uinder the carpet and pretending to forget about them.
    Sorry to hear things have been so low lately. Hopefully they improve soon

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    1. I use to be like that, this meditation has helped me deal with my feelings in a healthier manner.

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  6. If it works for you then you should definitely continue doing this! It sounds really interesting.

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    1. I totally am, just meditated this morning for a few minutes :)

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  7. Hi sweety, whoever said that to you is clearly mistaken! Maybe its just jealously that encouraged that type of criticism, I found this post to be so interesting! Stopping by to wish you a great & productive week ahead!

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    1. Thank you Sam, coming from you a successful blogger is a huge compliment.

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  8. wishing you happiness and success!

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind wishes Vett xo

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  9. i love any form of meditation. it's so therapeutic. will take a look at it meghan. thanks.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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    1. Meditation is really so awesome glad you agree.

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  10. what a horrible family member to tell you things like that! it would get me down too!

    Isabel @ Walk of Fashion

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    1. Not quite a family member :) but with that critic's words I found something as awesome as tonglen meditation. So it evens out a bit.

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  11. Very interesting..have not heard about it before but could certainly use a lot of it!

    http://jezzdallasmakeup.blogspot.com/

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  12. :( There are trolls out there and I am sorry that someone said that. I also think sometimes there are those people who will never get it.

    Meditation is tough and I am so glad you were able to over come those haunting words. I listen to motivation talks if I really need a pick me up.

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    1. People just don't get blogging in general unless they are avid blog readers or bloggers. I guess putting yourself out there opens you up to tons of critics.

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  13. It sucks that you received that type of feedback, Meg of which I completely disagree - as I've said before you are one of my favourite bloggers :)
    This sounds really interesting and I may just give it a try ;)

    *hugs*

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    1. I am so glad you enjoy this little space of mine, comments like these is always so encouraging, Thank you Natalie xo

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  14. I need to use this method. I've recently been bullied by ignorant colleagues because of my introverted nature and the fact that I'm a country girl. Being patronized felt awful, but I hope doing Tonglen Meditation will give me some clarity + inner peace again... Stunning post, just what I needed. xoxo

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    1. Hey hun, trust me this method will help. I'm sorry to hear about this bullying its awful that if you different you get judged but in theory we all are unique no two people are alike its merely the simple act of respect and kindness that is needed.

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Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment reading them makes me so happy. So please do share your thoughts !


beijo/xo

Meg

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